Striving for the approval of others is a trap we often fall into. We believe it is a dream reward that will change our lives. But in fact, it is only an illusion that distances us from ourselves.

1. There is no real result

Even if we manage to make others like us, what do we gain from it? Nothing. Being liked does not make people more loyal, it does not mean we can count on them, it often does not bring us material benefits, and it cannot satisfy our need for true acceptance.

2. You won’t get it because someone is always dissatisfied.

The truth is that no matter how hard we try, we cannot please everyone. No matter how many versions of ourselves we offer to the different groups of people in our lives, there will always be someone for whom it is still not enough. Seeking the approval of others is a doomed mission in which a person neglects themselves in their desire to be liked. But life is a series of decisions, and every decision is judged. And the sooner we accept this, the sooner we will be able to fly. An excellent example of this is the parable of the old man, the boy, and the donkey, in which we can see in a simple way that no matter how we act, the world will judge us.

3. Even if you get it, it’s impossible to keep it.

Approval is not something that can be earned once and for all. People are fickle, and their opinions change every day. Even if you are publicly approved, that is not the end, but only the beginning. From then on, your life becomes a constant struggle to maintain that approval, which is paid for with ever greater sacrifices of your own self. The collective may have admired you for decades. But in the end, you do something they don’t like, and they simply throw you away and turn their backs on you. Thus, being approved becomes an empty cause that comes at the highest price.

4. You realize that they don’t actually approve of you.

Approval can make us feel secure. It can bring us joy and boost our self-esteem. But only when it is genuine and given freely. The approval of others should be accepted, but not sought after. Once we start seeking it, we begin to adapt ourselves to the desires of others. And one day, we find ourselves trapped. The world falls in love, but not with us, but with our mask. We ourselves become prisoners of the version that will be approved, unable to escape because of the fear of crushing disappointment, but also unable to be happy because we know that no one sees us.

5. You put yourself in a low position

People have no right to approve or disapprove of you. Their opinion is worthless and unsolicited. The only thing that matters is your existence. Whatever you want it to be. Your life is sacred, and only your own beliefs matter. The rest is just background music.

6. People have no taste

As we learn over time, what people approve of is most often completely mediocre. The safe, the boring, the unremarkable, the ordinary, the superficial. By that standard, who would want to be liked?

7. You don’t actually need the approval of others

The truth is, there is only one approval that can make your life better. Your own. Live in such a way that you receive it.