Confidence is something that comes from the inside and not from the outside. This is the first thing you need to realize to start building it.

There will be people who won’t validate you whatever you do. They are too caught up in their own fears and low self-esteem. Even a greater number will validate you only if you act exactly like them, and usually in the negative sense. A jealous colleague will validate you when you sabotage yourself, a gambler will validate you only when you loan them money, a cynic will validate you only when you depreciate people. It is just not worth it to devote your life to getting validation from people like that.

On the other hand, very often, precisely when you do the right thing you won’t get validation from anyone. These are the hardest choices and they show our true value as people. When you try to change something for the better, more often than not the feedback you’re going to get is that you are out of you mind, a radical, a narcissist and so on. So sometimes the lack of validation is a sign that you are doing something right.

Last but not least, truly decent people will always validate you when you are true to yourself, show courage and fight for what’s right. The validation from these people has real value but it never needs to be chased after as it comes naturally.