Each of us has our own identity crises. Whether consciously or not, each of us has asked ourselves, “Who am I?” This is a natural part of life, but if not approached correctly, such a crisis can completely overwhelm us and destroy us. We are often subject to the idea that the answer to the question of who we are comes automatically. We often assume that we already know because searching for the answer scares us or simply because society has already told us who we should be. But in fact, many never reach this important life milestone because they don’t know how.

Here are a few practical steps toward answering the question, “How can I know who I am?”

To answer correctly, we must first realize what we are actually asking and avoid taking one of the three main wrong paths that our consciousness instinctively takes:

1. Това Кой съм не е това Какъв съм

When we ask, “Who are you?”, people often start listing qualities. Talkative, brave, modest, smart, funny, lazy, nervous, adventurous. But that doesn’t answer the question “Who?”, but rather “What are you?”, which is completely different. Our qualities and character traits are part of us, but they are not our essence. Being smart is not an identity, but a quality.

In a certain sense, it is not wrong to assume that the sum of our qualities is what shapes who we are, but such a statement would again be incomplete. The combination of qualities is important to our character, but what is more important is how they interact and, above all, how they are expressed through our individual prism. Identity is not so much about whether I am funny or not, but rather about how I am funny and how I am not funny.

What we are is a result of who we are. Therefore, the secondary cannot provide an answer as to what the essence of the primary source is.

2. Who I am is not What types of roles I have in life

Another direction our thoughts often take is to list the roles we play—I am a lawyer, a mother, a hiker, a good friend. But this again explains the consequences of who we have chosen to be, not our essence. Our role in life is tied to how others perceive us and how we fit into the world around us, rather than the essence of who we are beyond these things. Identifying with the roles we play is wrong because it lacks the depth necessary to answer “Who am I?” and redirects us to questions such as “What does the world want me to be?” and “What character am I playing in this play of life?”

3. Who I am is not What I do or like

To understand who we are, we must look beyond our activities and preferences. Identity is not just a collection of favorite foods, movies, and hobbies. That is only one part of it, which is again a secondary result of the essence of our self. I am a parent, therefore I have children. However, having children does not necessarily mean that I am a parent. I am a sailor, therefore I sail, not the other way around. I am a film buff, therefore I watch movies. Watching movies alone does not define who I am.

But if we gather all our qualities, relationships with our loved ones, activities, and preferences, will we then get the answer to “Who am I?” No.

Because the Self is not a collection of things, but the source of everything. And its essence can only be discovered when we look beyond everything else. We remove what we are, what we do, what our character is, what the people around us are like and our relationships with them, what we like and dislike. And what remains is our essence.

I am, therefore I exist. Not I exist, therefore I am.

If we imagine our personality as a tree, the root is our Self. And who it is must be established beyond words, beyond thoughts and feelings, in a space accessible only to the specific soul that wants to know itself. When we have this answer, truly experienced beyond all illusions, we can be ourselves in the purest sense of the word.

An answer that is both a discovery and a decision. The decision about who we are and who we want to be. Once made, it determines all other decisions in our lives.

This root also gives life to our stem—our highest value. That which determines our path, our mission in life, its meaning. This value, be it love, pigeons, or a glass factory, leads to the development of the branches that represent everything that is truly important to us and receives its life from the root of the Self.

And how can we be sure that we have found ourselves?

The moment we have the answer, the world is forever divided into two parts—what is me and what is not me. This is an invisible but categorical and clear boundary, the result of certainty about who we are. And it allows us not only to seek our place in the world, but to change the world according to our own beliefs.

Who am I? I am, therefore I exist. Not I exist, therefore I am.

Who am I? I Am, therefore I Am.