Our personal traits are what allow us to express our true selves in everyday life. They influence how we act, and people get to know and judge us based on them. That is why it is worth taking the time to discover what positive and negative qualities we truly possess.

Before we begin, we should note that not all qualities reflect our deepest essence. Some of them are a product of upbringing, social environment, and even the stage of life we are in. They can change and evolve. But there are also those that are an unchanging part of us, and in them we can see what our soul is made of.

The first step is to look within ourselves and recognize our positive traits. Are we good and honest people? Confident and communicative? Loyal and responsible? Productive and disciplined? Sensitive and creative? Each of these qualities is a treasure in itself, and another person who discovers them will feel as if they’ve opened a chest full of treasure. That’s why we, too, must value these things in ourselves and take pride in them.

A little further down the road, we must also face our flaws. Are we reckless? Or absent-minded? Or overly critical? Do we give up easily? Or perhaps we procrastinate endlessly? Are we greedy? Or insecure? Some of these truths may be unpleasant, but refusing to see them in ourselves won’t make them any less a part of who we are. Sometimes flaws are simply a more interesting stroke in the painting of our personality and even make us more whole as people. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m stubborn, and I like myself that way.” But if we have flaws that ruin our daily lives—like uncontrollable anger or obsessive jealousy—the only way to improve our lives is by consciously working on them.

Can we change our character traits? Of course. With determination and patience, we can both develop the qualities we want and minimize the flaws that hold us back. For example, if we want to become more outgoing and confident around people, the best thing we can do is take the plunge and gain experience. It’s up to us to muster the courage to voice an opinion, strike up a conversation with a stranger, or join a large social group that intimidates us. Even if there are moments when we feel like we’re failing, persistence will lead us to a new, more communicative version of ourselves—the one we want to see. Similar steps can be taken for any new quality we decide to acquire.

What’s important to keep in mind is that the qualities we cultivate and develop as adults should stem from our own volition, not from external pressure. A common saying goes, “You become like the company you keep,” and it’s usually true. If you want to eat better and exercise more, you have a wonderful opportunity to do so by spending more time with people who already do this and for whom this lifestyle is completely normal. But if you feel that your environment is pulling you, for example, toward a life filled with inactivity, yet at the same time filled with complaints that success just isn’t coming, you need to get out of there if you don’t want to find yourself trapped in the same cycle.

When we are aware of our own traits, we can answer more clearly the question of what qualities we look for in others. When it comes to personality traits, our similarities bring us closer together, while our differences enrich us. Everyone wants to be surrounded by loyal and honest people who are there for us when we need them. And it’s important to know whether this is exactly what we find in our current close friends, or whether we’re connected more by habit and a shared past.

Qualities are one of the main keys to getting to know both ourselves and others. That is why we must have the courage to look at them with wide-open eyes and not overlook the presence or absence of the characteristics that are important to us.