Emotional intelligence is an important quality, but often it’s just a buzzword with no real substance behind it. The irony is that to understand what emotional intelligence actually means, we need to possess at least a little of it.

Simply put, emotional intelligence is the understanding and awareness of feelings. The intersection of sensitivity and reason. The brain’s ability to work with abstract concepts and understand their meaning.

An emotionally intelligent person knows themselves very well. They know their strengths and weaknesses and accept themselves as they are. They are aware of where their fears come from, what their traumas are, and what causes their reactions. They are able to step outside themselves and observe themselves from the outside in order to become aware of their emotions and work on balancing them.

An emotionally intelligent person knows which people are important to them and what is most important in their life.

To possess conscious sensitivity is to have an answer to the question “Why?”. Every emotional reaction has its cause, and uncovering that cause is the key to freeing yourself from emotional baggage. Nothing happens just because, nor because people are bad or the world is unfair. The cause-and-effect relationship in the invisible world is just as strong as it is in the material one.

Not just “I’m terrified of snakes,” but why I’m terrified. Not just “this drives me crazy,” but why it drives me crazy. Not just “I have chemistry with the wrong person,” but why I have chemistry with that person specifically.

Emotional intelligence is also evident in the way we view people. Only when we see beyond their roles and understand that each of us is a human being with our own unique experiences and faces do we approach people in an emotionally mature way. The prisoner is a rejected child, the streetwalker is searching for love, the rude person knows no other way, the boring one is afraid of pain.

What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent? It simply means to be human. And to be human with other people.